Sheer Dumb Luck
by Secretly-A-Fangirl
Summary: "The next toy you make for my daughter better not come with a warning that it might blow our house or her nasal cavities to smithereens!" It really was amazing how things went when they weren't off fighting crime, but it was even more amazing that the Starks and Boudreauxs had such dumb luck where exploding body parts were concerned.


Mari was running around Stark Tower in a frenzy, her blonde hair escaping from her braid and framing her face as she talked breathlessly into the cell phone pressed against her ear. Why did she think this would be a good idea? Not only had she and the team just returned from Russia—obtaining Loki's scepter and bringing down a HYDRA base seeming so much simpler in Steve's plan—but her husband had called her the moment she landed in a tizzy.

"Heather!" The other Avenger, not to mention Mari's best friend, pauses on her way towards the stairs, a cookie in her mouth and a juice box clutched in her hand.

"Yeah," she asks around a mouthful of chocolate chip. Her dark eyes widen a bit, like she was expecting to get hit with something since Mari only ever used her frantic yet scary tone when Tony was about to get one of his little gadgets thrown at his head. Granted, he'd certainly deserved it, but Mari seriously doubted Heather knew what to think at the moment.

"Have you seen my idiot?" The other woman lets out a relieved sigh, understanding that Tony was the one in trouble at the moment and she was safe.

"I think he's in the lab. What'd he do this time?" She follows Mari as she makes a beeline for the lab downstairs, still munching on her cookie, but looking interested at any confrontation the Stark/Boudreaux siblings had. While not blood relatives, Tony had been Mari's guardian for almost as long as she could remember and their sibling fights were legendary among the Avengers.

"Apparently the dimwit gave my daughter some action figures that are just large enough to fit up her damn nose!" On the other end of the phone, Mari could hear her husband's panicked mumblings and her daughter's giggling. Of course Ava would think her father freaking the fuck out was funny, because why the hell not?

"So take her to the hospital and have them taken out."

"No, we're not sure which of the action figures has working repulsors." Mari pushes the door to the lab open, pausing at the edge of the stairs to glare down at the two men talking away. Bruce is the first to notice her and quickly taps Tony on the shoulder.

"Uh, angry sister alert," he says quietly, gesturing at the stairs until Tony takes the hint to turn around. When he does that, Mari promptly removes one of her shoes and chunks it at his fat face, narrowly missing when he hits the deck, her designer boot hitting one of his tables and crashing to the floor.

"What could I have possibly done," he shouts up at her," we just got back!"

"Stand up," Mari shouts back, already working on the laces of her other boot while Heather took the phone in an attempt to calm Sebastian down.

"No, you're just gonna throw another shoe at me!"

"You're damn right I am! Which one of those stupid dolls has working repulsors?"

"The red and gold one, why?" Mari takes the phone back, relaying the news to her husband and relaxing a little when he tells her that it's the blue and silver doll their daughter had put up her nose.

"Okay, now that we know her nose won't spontaneously combust, take her to the hospital. I'll be home soon and I'll personally throw all of those action figures in the trash."

"But I worked hard on them." To give her some credit, Mari managed to stay calm as she said her goodbyes to Seb and hangs up the phone. Heather knew what was about to happen and she began to chew her cookie more avidly as she watched the action play out.

"It was up her nose," Mari practically screamed, throwing her other shoe and nailing Tony's back with it this time. "The next toy you make for my daughter better not come with a warning that it might blow our house or her nasal cavities to smithereens!" It really was amazing how things went when they weren't off fighting crime, but it was even more amazing that the Starks and Boudreauxs had such dumb luck where exploding body parts were concerned.


End file.
